Tips

Good Tip Bad Tip.

You be the judge.

Chickens

Similar to the post before, (Ska-rimps) "Chickens" is now the new word of the of the day.

 Customer: "Can I add chickens to my salad?"

Me: "Sure how many?"

See posting of "Ska-rimps" grammar rule below to understand why "chickens" is incorrect.

Ska-rimps

We always offer upgrades to any pasta or salad on the menu at my restaurant. Its usually salmon, chicken, or shrimp. One time a person at a table said this to me,  "I want ska-rimps on mines." I responded with, "I'm sorry what did you say?" "Ska-rimps, I want ska-rimps on mines!" It took me a second to realize that this individual wanted Shrimp added to their pasta. First of all I completely understand ESL (English as a Second Language) I grew up in Southern California but this individual clearly was Americanized, had an iphone and was getting annoyed at me because I couldn't understand them. The word is SHRIMP people no need to pluralize it, it already is plural and singular simultaneously, cool right? Same goes for the word "Mine." No need to put an "S" on the end of that one either. "Mines" is the equivlant of nails on a chalkboard to me unless you are referring to the hundreds of coal mines in Appalachian Mountains or the mines in war. And please no need to get annoyed at me because you got an "F" in grammar. Next time try and use the word please in your sentence as well, it might get you farther in life and mask some of your ignorance. If that's too hard I think it's "por favor" in your language.

Tip: How to Change You Child in a Restaurant

Just to inform everyone most restaurant restrooms do have baby changing stations in them. In fact our restrooms have one in the Men's and Women's restroom. I only say this because one particular couple must have never been to a restaurant before because they elected to change their child's soiled diaper on their table in the middle of the restaurant. When they were finished they proceeded to leave the dirty diaper on the table for our bus boy to clean up. I wasn't waiting on them, maybe this was a big F*** You too a fellow server that gave them bad service or maybe they didn't enjoy their food. I'm not really sure what the logic was behind this act but really the only people they offended was the surrounding tables and our poor 17 year old bus boy. I understand common sense is hard to come by these days, but class and dignity are completely erased to some.

The Price of the Food Stays the Same....

One time a young woman wanted to order a special pasta dish that most people came into our restaurant for. She looked at me and asked, "If I take the chicken out of the pasta it will be cheaper right?" Now I had the option of trying to explain to her the whole drawn out reason as to why it would not change and maybe give her the option of substituting the chicken for something else in the kitchen, but as I stared at the blank ignorant look on her face with way too much makeup on I realized 1/4 of my explanation would make it past her thick skull. So I elected to respond with , "No sorry the price will stay the same." She rolled her eyes continued to play with her hair and settled on a salad, which had chicken in it!!!!

Steve Dublanica is my hero!!

All servers must read "Waiter Rant" by Steve Dublanica at some point in their life. It is a relief to have someone out in the world that is capable of finding the humor and wit in such a high stress job. Here's to you Steve Dublanica, you make it easier to go to work with a smile.

A Tip from a Tip

Bad Tipper

So here is an example of how people tip at my restaurant. Before anyone plays devils advocate I am a server you would like to have. I worked hard on this table. This family of 5 was sucking down strawberry lemonades faster than you can say "refill". On top of that they sent their food back twice. All I'm saying is 18-20% too much to ask? Servers live off of their tips people. If you have enough money to spend over $90 on the mediocre over priced food at my restaurant than you can afford a 20% tip. The appropriate tip for this bill should be around $18.

What Kind of Cheese is in the Cheddar Melt?

This is one of my favorites. It was a busy Sunday afternoon at my first restaurant job. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I got to this table with two elderly Anglo Americans, a man and a woman. (I inform only of the race and culture because an individual from another country would have an excuse and a second chance with me if they asked a question like this.) But no, clearly these two individuals were born and raised in the states, seemed like upper to middle class seeing that they were both dressed in Ralph Lauren matching sweaters. I got to the table and asked the couple, "Hi folks do you have any questions? Or maybe some more time?" The elderly gentleman looked up at me and as serious as a positively read pregnancy test asked me, "Yeah I have a question. Umm, what kind of cheese is in the Cheddar Melt?" I stopped my thought process, forgot that the restaurant was a swarming bee hive and had to rewind my thoughts to actually here what I just heard. I desperately wanted to respond with, "Provolone and Smoked Gouda you dumb fool, " but I bit my lip and kindly replied, "That would be cheddar cheese sir."